Blowfish and Bunnies
by Wakkowarnerlover
Summary: Perry teams up with his girlfriend's uncle to investigate her disappearance. He discovers it may be tied to a plastic bunny that was stolen the day she vanished... a bunny that could be used to activate a terrible weapon created by a dangerous gang leader. THIS STORY IS PART OF A SERIES.
1. Chapter 1

"Phineas, come on!"

"I'm not used to this game!"

Phineas's little orange Forest Friend hopped around the TV screen. It hopped over the edge of a cliff.

"PHINEAS IS GONE." Said the TV.

"I can't help it!" Phineas said. "I keep thinking I'm Perry's Forest Friend!"

"Mine's blue, not orange!" Perry said.

"I get confused!"

"There it is, the spaceship!" Ferb said. He made his purple Forest Friend walk near the ship.

Phineas's Forest Friend respawned. It picked up a bomb.

"AAAHH!" Perry ran away from Phineas's Forest Friend. Ferb did as well.

The bomb began to pulse red.

"What's going on? Why are you guys running? What is my character holding?" Phineas asked.

The bomb exploded. "PHINEAS IS GONE."

Perry and Ferb burst into laughter.

"The bomb!"

"And then you!"

"Boom!"

"It was pulsing! Haha!"

Phineas started laughing too. "I'm not very good at this game."

** ...**

"I say she went looking for this little trinket." Malice said, gesturing toward an empty velvet box in a store window.

"What little trinket?" Tesla demanded. "You're pointing at air."

Malice frowned and directed his gaze at Finicky, a dapple-gray cat.

"She's new." Finicky explained. "She proved herself by fighting the police away from Phoneline."

"I'm Tesla." Tesla said. "And I have no idea why you are referring to something as 'this' when it is no longer in the shop window."

Malice eyed her. "You're not from around here, are you?"

"What's past is past."

"Our leader would agree with you, if she were here. However, she is not. Because, I assume, she is making her getaway with the rarest plastic bunny in Danville."

"Plastic bunny?" Tesla looked from Malice to Finicky.

"The holy grail for every animal gang in Danville." Malice said. "The bunny was created by Rex, former leader of the gang the Silencers. When the Silencers broke up, the bunny was sold to this store. The gang that had the bunny was considered the most powerful. And our lovely leader, Prince Curran, is most likely not here because she is trying to give the Royal Guard the upper hand! Any other questions, Tesla?"

Tesla shrugged.

"She's not here because she's with JD."

A platypus shoved through the crowd of Royal Guard members and stared at Tesla for a moment. "You're new?"

Tesla nodded.

"Great." The platypus turned to Malice. "She's with her uncle. She's just not back yet. Some other gang must have the bunny. We have to figure out who."

"I knew she was with her uncle, Crusher." Malice said. "I called his house a couple days ago to see when she was coming back. He hadn't seen her. The next night, the bunny was gone."

Crusher's pupils became vertical slits. Tesla took a step back. Being a skunk, she didn't know much about platypuses. But she knew platypus eyes didn't usually do that.

Malice, however, didn't seem fazed. "I'm not accusing Prince of anything. I'm just ASSUMING. And anyways, if she did steal the bunny, it wouldn't be something we would be angry about."

"I'm not angry with YOU." Crusher said. "I'm just mad at HER. She promised I'd always know where she was…"

A police siren sounded. All of the animals froze.

"We can't be seen here." Malice said. "Everyone take a different route back to the hideout. Make sure you aren't followed."

** ...**

"This is magical." Phineas said. He took another bite out of his chocolate bar. "Milk chocolate with marshmallows."

"How can a chocolate bar be magical?" Perry asked.

"I never end up eating all the candy in my stocking." Ferb said. "It just sits in the fridge."

"Not this candy bar." Phineas said. "This candy bar is magic."

Perry took a bite. "There is no going back. Give it to me!"

Phineas held the candy bar in the air. "It's mine!"

"Guys!" Ferb said. "Don't forget. We're not hoarding candy. We're playing all of the video games we got today. This one's called 'Racing Transmogrified'."

"Cool legumes." Perry took a controller.

"CHOOSE YOUR CHARACTER." The television said.

"I'm the ocelot." Perry said. "He has a cool spotted car."

"I'm a duck." Phineas said.

"I'm a cow." Said Ferb.

The race began.

"It says I'm going in reverse, but I don't remember turning around." Phineas said.

"I see you, Phineas. You're stuck in a wall." Perry said.

"He's floating in the air above me." Ferb said.

"But we're nowhere near each other!" Perry said. "Op, now I'm a plane. Why am I a plane?"

"It's racing transmogrified." Ferb said.

"I think I'm glitching." Phineas said.

"Now I am a train." Perry said, chewing on the marshmallow candy bar.

"Hey, you took that out of my hand!" Phineas said.

Perry handed it back to him. "Phineas, are you still on the first lap?"

"I'm in the water."

"There's not any water on this track." Ferb said.

"I'm confused."

"PHINEAS WINS!" Said the game.

"What?" Perry threw his controller in the air.

"He wasn't even anywhere near the finish line!" Ferb said.

Perry's phone rang.

"But it's Christmas." Phineas said.

"Sorry, I have to take this. Could be important. Do a victory dance or something while you wait." Perry took out his phone. "Hello?"

"You Sneakers's father?" Asked a deep, silky voice.

"Who is this?"

"JD. You're the father of Sneakers, right?"

"JD who?"

"Jason Dexter Curran."

"Are you… related to Prince, then?"

"Woah, sorry. Shoulda mentioned that. Prince's uncle. You Sneakers's father?"

"Yes. How are they doing?"

"The kid's fine. I was wonderin' if you knew where Prince was at."

"Prince? She's over there, right?"

"Well… not recently. Left sayin' she was goin' to get coffee and I haven't seen her for a couple days. I was guessin' she either left on… business or went back to see you. But I must admit, I found it kinda funny that she'd leave the kid. I think somethin' fishy's up now. Didn't wanna worry ya, sorry."

"So you haven't seen her? How's Sneakers? Is she okay?"

"Cute as a bug in a rug. Does she get her good looks from you?"

"I believe it's on her mother's side. Cutonium."

"Ah. Shoulda known. My brother fell in a vat of the stuff a long time back."

"So she didn't give any hint of where she might be going?"

"Awful weird stuff goin' down lately." JD said. "Can't say I feel good about her bein' gone this long, but I'll try not to worry too much."

"I'll see if I can get hold of her."

"Not sure what good that will do, but anything's appreciated."

"Bye." Perry said.

"Take care."

"Who was that?" Phineas asked after Perry hung up.

"JD. Prince's uncle."

"I knew someone named DD." Ferb said.

"He says Prince went missing."

"DD did?"

"No, Ferb. JD."

"Maybe she went to play Racing Transmogrified. Another round, Ferb?" Phineas asked.

Ferb started the game.

"NEW WEAPON ACQUIRED!" The announcer said. "BLOWFISH!"

"Buh-lowfish!" Ferb repeated in the same way the announcer had spoken.

"BEGIN GAME!" The announcer said.

Perry picked up his controller, trying to weave his car into the front of the racers. Suddenly his car became a spaceship.

They were flying around in space.

A blowfish tumbled past, looking completely oblivious.

"Look out for the blowfish in space." Phineas said.  
>"Space buh-lowfish!" Said Ferb.<p>

"I think buh-lowfish just became the new Wurny the Purr." Perry said.

Ferb knocked Phineas off of the edge of an asteroid using a blowfish.


	2. Chapter 2

"Agents… AGENTS!" Monogram shouted.

No one was listening. Herman the hedgehog was in a tussle with Pheobe the possum, and everyone was chanting their names.

Everyone save for Ned the baby narwhal, who was trying to get the attention of the new recruits by singing a song he made up about butts.

"I worry about Ned sometimes." Perry told Pinky.

"He'll grow up."

"To be WHAT? That's why I'm worried!"

"I don't know. A butt-ologist?"

Perry snickered.

"AGENTS!" Monogram shouted. "SILENCE!"

All the agents turned to look at Monogram. Herman had Pheobe in a headlock.

"We have a situation." Monogram said. "There has been a case of thievery at the dollar store in downtown Danville. A plastic bunny was stolen."

"A plastic bunny." Perry muttered. "If this is our top priority…"

"This is no ordinary plastic bunny." Monogram continued. "This bunny was made by an animal who led a very violent gang known as the Silencers. Whoever stole it may be trying to recreate the gang."

Perry stopped listening.

Of course.

Prince wasn't at JD's because she had stolen the stupid plastic bunny. Definitely not to recreate the Silencers, but… for some other reason he couldn't figure out.

"Can't she just sit still for once?" Perry grumbled.

** ...**

Perry looked down at the address in his hand to make sure it matched the house number.

He knocked on the red door.

"Hold on." JD said in the same deep voice Perry had heard on the phone.

The door opened to reveal a slim platypus with fluffy light brown fur. Judging by the faint white streaks, he was significantly older than Perry.

"Who are you?" JD asked warily.

"Perry. You called me a couple days ago?"

"Ah." JD's expression softened. "Forgive me. You can never be too careful, if you know what I mean. Come on in."

Perry stepped into the house. The hallway was littered with old records and crumpled-up papers.

"Sorry about the mess." JD said, stepping gingerly over a broken cassette player. "It's better in the living room. I just don't have enough space for things."

Perry followed him into a cozy room with three couches. A Christmas tree sat in the center. Toys and stuffed animals were in a pile near one of the couches.

Sneakers was floating above on the floor, watching some children's program about colors. She turned to look at Perry and blinked her huge eyes at him.

"Sneakers… is floating." Perry said.

"Floating's a common side effect of the cutonium." JD said. "She does that every once in a while."

Sneakers floated over to Perry and nuzzled his stomach. Perry picked her up. "Hey. How're you doing?"

"She's a real cool kid." JD said. "Adorable."

Sneakers looked into Perry's eyes, causing him to feel a stab of guilt for not giving her every single thing on the planet.

Perry shook himself off. "I'm worried about Prince. There's this bunny that every gang wants…"

"Plastic Jimmy?" JD asked. "Yeah, Prince had her eye on that for a while."  
>"I think she might have stolen it. It's gone now. But people are looking into it… she could get into trouble. I wish she'd talk to us."<p>

JD shook his head. "I hate that they're goin' after her."

"Well… technically, stealing is right up her alley."

"She didn't do it. She wouldn't have gone off like that to steal somethin'. She woulda told me, and THEN gone off and done it." JD gave a smile, revealing crooked and broken teeth. "I know my girl."

"You raised Prince, right?"

"Pretty much."

"Ah." Perry adjusted Sneakers in his arms.

"I know what you're thinkin'." JD said, looking a little annoyed. "I tried to put her on the right path. But I knew if I pushed her, I'd lose her trust. I had to let her do her own thing. The most I could do was support her."

Perry nodded. "I guess."

"I'm makin' sure she doesn't go into that life, though." JD said, gesturing towards Sneakers. "She's been pretty happy here. Sucks that Prince left. I don't think she should be without her mommy too long."

Sneakers sneezed. Perry fought the desire to run to the store and buy the best box of tissues there.

"Fool." JD muttered.

"What?"

"No, not you. Prince. What's up with her leavin' like that?"

Perry shook his head. "I wish I knew. Is it all right if I leave Sneakers here for a couple of hours? I can't take her until I get the house ready."

"It's all cool." JD said.

Perry set Sneakers down on the floor. Sneakers began to float again. Perry turned to leave.

"One last thing." JD said.

Perry turned. "What?"

"Nice to see she's finally found herself a good guy." JD said.

** ...**

"Hi, Perry!" Phineas said when Perry returned home. "We're playing another new game called DaYS."

Perry looked at the screen. A pink clown was flying around.

"Huh. Cool. What's it about?"

"Oh no!" Said the pink clown as babies with wings began to get sucked into a void. "The Daylandians are getting sucked into the endless void of darkness!"

"NOT AGAIN." Phineas moaned. "Stupid Daylandians get into danger every five seconds! Now I've gotta save them!"

"Good luck. They're everywhere and they're tiny. And you have to save all of them. And there's a time limit." Ferb said.

"I KNOW." Phineas said.

Perry's phone started to ring.

"Ack. I'd love to watch you begin the impossible task of saving creepy little Daywhatevers, Phinny, but I should probably take this. Does Candace still have that old doll bed upstairs? Sneakers is going to stay here a while."

"Yeah." Phineas waved Perry away.

Perry left the room and answered the phone. "Who is this?"

"Hey. Would you mind doing me a favor?" Prince asked.

"PRINCE! Where ARE you? You left Sneakers at your uncle's-"

"I need you to give Malice a shopping list. You remember him?"

"Prince, quit talking about shopping lists! WHERE ARE YOU?"

"We were supposed to hold a party and we don't have half the food we need for everyone. Do you have a pen and paper handy?"

"PRINCE!"

"You get no answers unless you write down the stupid shopping list!" Prince snapped.

"Fine!" Perry took a pad and pencil out from his fur pocket. "All right, go."

"Hummus, eggs, lemons, pears, tangerines, raisins, onions… what was next… what was next…"

"Prince…"

"Hang on, I'm thinking. Okay, keep writing. Bananas, apples, doughnuts, oranges, rice. You got all that?"

"…Oranges… Rice… yes."

"Thanks sweetie. Make sure he gets that list immediately. He'll need to get that stuff soon."

"Prince, where-"

He heard a click on the other end and tried to redial the number.

"Weird. Not Prince's number. What is she doing…"

He went upstairs to get Candace's old doll bed. It had Ducky Momo on it. He also grabbed a tiny doll pillow and a couple of blankets. He dragged his finds up to Phineas and Ferb's room and fashioned a small bed.

He went back downstairs into the living room.

"YES!" Phineas threw his controller in the air. "I BEAT THE LEVEL!"

"Oh dear!" Cried DaYS the pink clown. "The Daylandians are going into the cheese grater! We have to save them!"

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Phineas yelled, throwing himself to the ground.

"Maybe you should take a break." Perry said.

** ...**

Sneakers fell asleep in Perry's arms on the way home. He tried extremely hard to stay quiet as he entered his house.

"MOOOOOOMMMM!" Candace was shouting.

"NOOOO! STUPID DAYLANDIANS!" Phineas yelled.

"WE MUST SAVE THEM!" DaYS cried.

Ferb's silence was almost deafening.

Sneakers opened her eyes and looked up at Perry, confused.

"Welcome to the house of loudness." Perry told her.

Sneakers hiccupped.

Phineas and Ferb came into the hallway.  
>"Awwww! Sneakers is here!" Phineas said happily. He patted her on the head. "She's SO cute, Perry!"<p>

"She just woke up, so she's a little confused. But I'm sure she remembers you." Perry said.

Sneakers tried to suckle on Perry's fingers.

"Aww!" Phineas said. "I want to give her everything in the whole world."

"I'll put her to bed so we can do some more stuff together. Sneakers, don't nibble on my finger."

"Maybe she's hungry." Phineas said.

"I'm sure she is. She hasn't had mother's milk for a few days, and I don't know if JD's been feeding her replacement milk or what… can you get the platypus milk out of the cupboard and meet me upstairs?"

** ...**

Sneakers finally fell asleep in Perry's arms.

He was exhausted. He lay back on the couch and tried to get in a comfortable position without waking the baby platypus.

He heard a noise and sat up. Phineas was coming downstairs.

"What are you doing up?" Perry whispered.

"I needed water. What are you doing down here?"

"Go back to bed. You stayed up late."

"I need water. Why are you down here?"

"Sneakers woke up hungry so I came downstairs to get her a bottle, but she kept trying to nurse instead. It took forever to get her back to sleep."

"Are baby platypuses always hungry?"

"Pretty much." Perry yawned.

"Do you want me to carry her back upstairs?"

"Sure. Get your water first."

** ...**

JD was seated on one of his couches, listening to a record from the sixties while he was watching the news.

"Thank you for talking to us about your water company, Tricia Waters! The newest brand of Watery Water will come out next December! Next on the news, Danville Park grows a new blade of grass!"

JD narrowed his eyes and turned down the volume on the television. The record began to drown out the sound.

"BREAKING NEWS BULLETIN!" The TV said.

JD turned the volume back up.

A reporter stood on the screen in front of a beat-up old van. "A van was found today in the most dangerous center of Danville. There were obviously some shootings here. There are bullet markings in the side of the van. No one was found inside, but the trunk appears to have been wrenched open… by… paws? Claws! Perhaps a bear got in…"

JD frowned. The news never knew anything.

Only the people who truly investigated the scenes did.

JD reached into the cushions of the couch, bringing out a single earphone with a cord. He plugged it in to a pin-sized recording device.

And he listened.


	3. Chapter 3

"Listen, I'm PERRY. You guys know Prince, right? Prince! Your leader, remember?"

Perry's attempt to give the meaningless shopping list to Malice wasn't successful so far. Royal Guard seemed to think he was trying to trick them into arrest and were currently backing him against the wall of their hideout.

"Prince. I'm her friend." Perry said.

"Sure you are." Said a cat. "Stay a while, will you?"

"Agents are great friends of ours." A skunk told him.

Perry had a feeling they were being sarcastic. Except for the part about staying a while.

Perry put a hand in his fur pocket and held on to his grappling gun. He didn't want to hurt anyone, but if they decided it was time to get messy, he'd prefer to defend himself.

"Who says I'm an agent?" Perry asked.

"Agents are the only animals who could possibly be as intelligent as you." Said the cat.

"If that were the case, YOU'D be an agent." Perry said.

"We're all descended from agents, idiot!" Said a female hedgehog. "Our parents passed down intelligence to us!"

"Parents." The cat spat on the ground. "Jerks."

Most of the animals nodded in agreement.

Perry finally hit the wall. "Can you guys call Malice? He knows me."

The skunk lunged at him. Perry fired.

Twelve animals tumbled to the ground, all tied to each other. Malice walked up as they fell. He looked down at them, and up at Perry.

"I'm sorry you had to do that. Guys, this one is a friend. Don't harm him in the future."

"How were we supposed to know?" The cat grumbled.

"Shut it, Finicky." Malice turned to Perry. "You wanted me for something?"

"Prince had me write down a shopping list over the phone for your party or whatever."

"What party?" Malice asked.

"I don't know. That's all she said. Here." Perry handed him the list.

Malice stared at it for a moment. Then he slowly looked up at Perry.

"Was she calling from a different number?"

"Yes-"

"Did she hang up suddenly?"

"Yes, but-"

"Did you write this in the exact order that she dictated it to you?"

"Yes. Why? What does it mean?"

Malice set the list down on the ground, took a pen out of his jeans pocket and circled the first letter of every word.

_HELPTROBADOR_

"I see HELP in there." Perry said. "Do you think she's in trouble, or is that just a coincidence?"

Malice shook his head. "Not a coincidence. We had no party coming up. We buy our own food. She must have been somewhere where she could be overheard, so she used first-letter code. Did she hesitate at all when telling you what to write?"

"Yes." Perry said. "I remember her saying she couldn't remember what was next."

"So there's a letter or two missing." Malice said. "Probably one she couldn't think of a food name for. Wait a minute…"

Malice wrote down _TROBADOR_ and stared at it for a few seconds. "Yes. It must have been a U that was missing. She was trying to say Help Troubadours. I bet she forgot the S."

"She wants us to help middle-age lyric poets. Good we cleared that up."

Malice didn't appear to have heard. "It all makes sense now. The Troubadours allow their prisoners one phone call, but if the prisoner says anything about location or asks for help or contacts any member of their own gang they're killed on the spot."

"So she's been kidnapped by another gang?"

"Yes." Malice said. "And a nasty one, too."

"Where are they?" Perry asked, suddenly feeling angry.

"How am I supposed to know?"

"Don't gangs know where-"

Malice shook his head. "They're called hideouts because you use them to hide from other gangs. It's very hard to figure out where a hideout is. I could probably get a bit of information from other gangs, but finding those gangs is the same problem."

"Feels like you guys run into each other all the time."

Malice smiled sadly. "Only when we don't need each other. We do have two gangs we're on friendly terms with, though. I could try them."

"If you figure anything out, let me know." Perry said.

**...**

"It's New Years tonight, Perry!"

Perry took his eyes off of Sneakers, who was currently floating upstairs, and looked at Phineas in confusion. "No, it's the 30th."

"It's the 31st! See?" Phineas pointed at a calendar.

Perry shook his head. "It… can't be. Christmas was only a few days ago… it felt like it, at least…"

"I'm going to stay up all night." Ferb said. "We can play DaYS!"

"NOOO." Phineas said.

"Yes." Said Ferb.

"But don't you remember, Ferb? We're going to Isabella's for New Year's."

"Well, we can play DaYS at Isabella's."

"Or do something else." Phineas said. "Perry's gonna come too! He can help us figure out what to do!"

"I may have a mission tonight." Perry said. "Sorry."

"Can you come until then?"

"Sure. It's just so soon… I wasn't expecting it to be the New Year already. I'm not sure if I'm excited or not. Ferb, could you go and make sure Sneakers doesn't float out of the upstairs window?"

Ferb ran upstairs.

"Are you going to bring Sneakers to Isabella's, Perry?"

"I think she needs to stay here. It's not good for her to be up all night, and she might get nervous around a bunch of people. Baby platypuses don't process things the same way I do. But we need to make sure we close all the windows."

Ferb came back downstairs, carrying Sneakers under one arm. Sneakers was glowing, making her cuteness even harder to resist.

"You should put a little bow on her head." Phineas said.

"Are you kidding? Then we'll go robbing stores for her!" Perry took Sneakers back from Ferb. "She's too cute as is."

"Buh-lowfish!" Ferb said.

"You're right, Ferb! We still have lots of time before we have to go to Isabella's!" Phineas said.

"How did you get that from 'blowfish'?" Perry asked.

"A little blowfish goes a long way." Said Ferb.

**...**

"Last night was fun." Phineas said.

Ferb nodded.

Phineas began drawing up a building plan in his project book. He looked toward Perry.

Perry was lying on his back on the floor, snoring loudly. Sneakers was trying to get underneath him for warmth.

"I wonder what Perry did last night for New Year's. He seems pretty tired." Phineas said.

"Maybe his mission had a lot of running around in it." Ferb said.

"It's a shame he didn't get to stay for the ball drop." Phineas said. "Hey, imagine curling glass windows on a building, Ferb."

Ferb thought for a moment and shrugged.

"Indifferent? I'll write that down as a maybe." Phineas left the building's windows blank. "Should we wake Perry up?"

Ferb shook his head. "He looks like he'd want to stay sleeping."

**...**

"Okay, fine." Pinky said. "I admit that you can blow a big enough gum bubble to allow you to float for five whole minutes! Now STOP showing off!"

Peter continued to remain in the air, his large gum bubble carrying him innocently along.

"Don't laugh, Peter." Perry said.

Peter snickered. The bubble popped, and Peter landed on top of Pinky.

"You couldn't have waited a couple more seconds before tricking him into coming down?" Pinky grumbled.

A terrible scream sounded from another room. They froze.

"EEEEEEAAGGGHHH!" Carrie the cat yelled. "A SPIDDDEERRRR!"

"AAAAAGGGHH!" Shrieked Sandra the spider. "A CATTTTTT!"

Perry shook his head. "Just Carrie. Blow another bubble, Peter."

Peter put another stick of gum in his mouth and started chewing.

"Carl!" Monogram shouted from another room. "Someone's hacked into our announcement system. I have no idea how long the software has been there, but I need you to get rid of it!"

"Sorry, sir?"

"Whoever hacked into our system…" Monogram lowered his voice, but Perry could still easily hear him through the wall. "…can listen to what we're saying! Get it out of there!"

"Checking systems, sir."

Perry took out his phone and checked the sound system. Sure enough, a foreign device was connected to it.

"Sir, whatever the connected device is, it's not anywhere in the agency. It's wireless. I can't shut it down."

"Well, LOCATE it!"

"Impossible, sir. The only way we would be able to know who had it… well, the device would probably scramble up most electronics, so if a person's television were blinking random colors and such…"

"OW!" Perry rubbed his head. A furry foot had whacked him.

"Thorry." Peter said through his gum bubble as he floated along.

**...**

JD had never tried to glue a record back together before. He wasn't even sure if the record would work again.

He had broken the record after learning more about the beat-up van. He wished he had taken his anger out on something else, though. He liked his records.

A knock sounded on the door.

"I'm comin'." JD set the record to dry on the kitchen table and opened the front door.

The first thing he saw was a fist. A second later, he was lying on the ground, rubbing his jaw.

"You think that's funny-" He stood up to face his attacker, and stopped in confusion. "Perry? What're you doin' here? Why'd you just-"

"You've been spying on the O.W.C.A. You listen in through some radio device."

**...**

Perry threw another punch at JD to try and get past him.

JD dodged and grabbed Perry by the wrists. "Hold on. Why'd you think that?"

"Your television, when I was last here. Flashing colors."

JD gave Perry his broken smile. "Ah. You're smart, aren't ya? But I don't use my listener for the agency."

"Let. Go. Of. Me." Perry growled.

"You gotta promise you won't sucker-punch me again."

"That depends. Whose side are you on?"

"I don't take sides. I do my own thing, everyone else does their own thing, the world is happy. I ain't spyin' on your agency. I promise. Come."

JD dragged Perry into the living room and dug around in his couch. He pulled out a small listening device. "This was Prince's. I believe she used it to listen in to your agency before you two were friendly with each other. But it also connects to police electronics and detective agencies. In my case, useful when you wanna know more than the news tells you or check up on your niece. In her case, useful for avoiding the cops."

JD released Perry. Perry rubbed his wrists. "You swear that's all you use it for?"

"There was a van on the news. Apparently a shooting happened near it. No one found inside, but looked as though animals had attacked it. I tuned into the police and learned a little more. Reptile footprints were seen in the van. Rollerskate skidmarks in the trunk."

Perry frowned.

"And according to the indentations in the mud near the car, a struggle took place." JD said. He pressed a couple of buttons on the device. "And now this is disconnected from that agency that I forget the name of. Are we all good now?"

"Of course. JD… Prince is stuck with a gang called the Troubadours. We received a message from her. But I have no idea where to find them."

JD narrowed his eyes. "Give me ten minutes. I'll locate them."


	4. Chapter 4

"I used to be an animal news reporter." JD said, leading Perry into a bedroom just as cluttered as the front hallway. "Problem was, sometimes the animal authorities didn't like what I reported. Most of my star stories were somethin' like 'Police Clueless, Silencers Victorious'. So I kind of had to go into hidin'. But when I was young and out on the streets, I knew a lot of the tricks and shortcuts gangs had."

JD opened a bedside drawer filled with newspaper clippings. They didn't appear to be in any kind of order, but he was able to pull one out without looking at it and handed it to Perry.

"Take a good look at that." He said triumphantly.

Perry read.

_The Abandoned Danville ice-skating arena was reported to hold the vicious gang, the Troubadours, by JD Curran on Antaminal News. Curran said that he had located them after tracking one of the members who had spray-painted the Troubadour mark on the Silencers' hideout. Curran is certain that if the Troubadours do not move, they will get more than they bargained for. The Silencers are a very dangerous group of animals._

"I remember it well." JD said when Perry finished reading. "They packed up and moved right after I made that report. I guess I shoulda known they'd watch the news. But one of the members freaked out and knocked on my door. He said he'd quit the gang and offered to give me their new location: an apartment building in the city neighboring the tri-state area. Apartment 207."

"You're sure they're still there?"

"Only one way to find out." JD said. He picked up a pencil and a ripped piece of a record cover, scribbled an address, and handed it to Perry. "Go on over there and check it out."

"Fine. Get your coat or whatever."

"I don't think I'm goin' anywhere." JD said.

"You have a car, don't you?"

"It's complicated. You see, I haven't left this house since I near got kidnapped by a gang long ago."

"The fresh air'll do you good. Come on. I have no practice dealing with gangs. Well, that's not exactly true, but I doubt I can get another gang member to fall in love with me."

"Fine, then." JD mumbled. He dug around in the desk drawer, produced some keys, and led Perry out of the room.

** ...**

After driving past buildings Perry knew well, and then past many others he didn't recognize, the streets they drove on began to look more uninhabited and sketchy.

"Nice place to live." Perry joked.

JD snickered. "You should see the inside of those places. Dig around in the back, will ya? There's a handheld back there."

"A handheld what?"

"Just in case it gets ugly." JD said.

Perry dug around in a sea of records. "You really like music, huh?"

"It's the only thing I got, really." JD said. "I learned through music."

"No one taught you about houses or standing up or furniture or anything?"

JD shook his head. "My bro and I were wild. I found a record store by accident. The owner fed me and named me Jason Dexter, but to him I was nothin' more than a stray animal. I'd come into the shop and listen to the music. I watched the store owner put records on. I learned how people paid and purchased. I hung around humans more. Eventually I bought my own house, bought records from the very store owner who fed me and named me, and started livin' on my own. Then Prince showed up on my doorstep. I recognized her, of course. My brother had showed her to me the night she was born. Said she had nowhere to go. Asked to move in with me. You probably know what happened after that point."

Perry handed JD the small gun he had found in the backseat. JD placed it at his side.

JD parked next to a fire hydrant that looked more gray than yellow. It had quite a few bullet holes in it.

"Be very careful." He warned.

"I promise I won't drive the car directly into the apartment." Perry got out of the car.

JD led him up to a chain-link fence between two buildings. Behind the fence was a flight of stairs, leading to a single black door.

"What now?" Perry whispered. "We can't just go up, knock on the door and ask them to hand Prince over."

JD began to climb the fence.

"Are you CRAZY?" Perry hissed.

JD jumped and landed on the third step. He began to climb the stairs.

Perry held out his grappling gun.

"Open the door." JD commanded, concealing his gun behind his back.

Perry heard a couple of locks slide aside. A cranky-looking tiger had opened the door.

"What do you want?" The tiger growled.

"My niece." JD said. "Prince? She with you?"

"Ah, yes. The accomplice." The tiger grinned. "Sorry. I'm afraid she's busy being a prisoner at the moment."

"Whaddya got against her?" JD asked.

"Oh, nothing. We simply assumed that the person who she stole Plastic Jimmy with would come to get their accomplice. She doesn't have the bunny, you see."

"Hmm." JD said. "The person who stole it may be long gone. Ever heard of the scapegoat trick?"

"Oh, no. He's right here." The tiger said.

JD held out his gun. "I got nothin' to do with this. I'm just tryin' to get my niece back."

"Likely."

Shots rang out. Perry tried to aim, but he couldn't tell who anyone was. The tiger obviously had backup. More animals were on the stairs than just two.

JD scrambled down the stairs as the confused Troubadours continued to tussle at the landing. He climbed over the fence.

"He's getting away!" The tiger shouted.

Perry felt a bullet soar past his face. He caught JD as he leapt over the fence and they ran.

Shots flew past them, nailing the front of JD's car.

"GET IN!" JD shouted.

Perry didn't have to be told twice. They sped away, gunfire still sounding behind them.

"Gonna take a few different routes before home." JD said breathlessly. "Just so they don't follow us."

"Did any hit you?"

"Couple on my tail when I was goin' up the fence. I'll be all right." JD wheezed a little.

"Do you need me to get someone?"

"No… not now. I'll… get home first."

They drove in silence for a while.

"We didn't get her back." Perry said.

"I'm real sorry 'bout that." JD said. "I tried to get in. There were too many of 'em."

"Why does everyone want Jimmy or whatever?" Perry asked.

"Some say that Rex, the leader of the Silencers, created it as a symbol of his power. Others say it is a key to a machine of destruction created by his ruthless father. Either way, if a gang has it, they control all the others."

"So it was in a shop all this time? They only just now stole it?"

"That shop had the bunny in high security. They knew what it was."

"Agent P!"

Perry looked down. Monogram was on his wrist communicator.

"Sorry to bother you. Hope you're not in the middle of anything too important, but it's Doofenshmirtz. Our sensors indicate that he's up to something. Get to the bottom of it."

The communicator clicked off.

"I need to get to the agency." Perry said. "Do you know where it is?"

"By any chance that buildin' with the O.W.C.A sign?"

"Yeah."

"On the way. Good."

"Get yourself to a hospital or something."

"I will."

** ...**

"BEHOLD, THE…"

Perry looked up at Doofenshmirtz's latest inator. It was large, purple and had a huge antenna on the top.

Doofenshmirtz hadn't actually said anything after "behold, the". He was staring at the inator, looking confused.

"Well, actually, I'm not entirely sure what it is. I bought it at a thrift store for thirty dollars. What a steal! Maybe I'll call it the Whatastealinator. Let's see… there should be a switch here…"

Doofenshmirtz tried flipping on a switch. The Whatastealinator didn't do anything.

"Huh. What a rip-off." Doofenshmirtz grumbled. "Guess if you want something done right, you gotta build it yourself. Sorry to drag you all the way out here, Perry the platypus."

Perry tipped his fedora and tried to climb out of the giant hole trap.

"Oh, sorry." Doofenshmirtz tossed a rope ladder down to him. "Same time tomorrow, then? But like in the morning?"

** ...**

Perry walked home from Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated. The night air was cold.

Suddenly the streetlamps began to go out. Perry was confused. The streetlights only turned off in the morning.

It was pitch dark in under a second. Perry pulled out his phone and used the light to guide himself.

Through the phone light, he saw Phineas standing on the front porch of the house, trying to ring the doorbell.

"Boys?"

"Hey, Perry!" Phineas said. "The streetlights went out, and so did all the houselights. Weird, right? Like in the Harvey Porter movie. Now we're trying to actually get in the house. MOOMMMM! OPEN THE DOOR! IT'S FREEZING!"

Ferb began to kick the door with his foot.

"MOM!" Phineas yelled, his voice strangely lonely in the dark.

"Something's wrong." Perry said.

The boys turned to him.

"What?" Phineas asked.

"All this. I don't understand it. But something's wrong."

"I'm going in through the pet door." Ferb announced.

"Don't. I don't feel good about this. Something is very wrong."

Perry walked up to the front door and peered through the window on it. Nothing but darkness revealed itself.

"Why weren't you two at home?"

"We were chasing after our latest invention. It was a giant bicycle, and it became self-aware." Phineas said. "I'm assuming everyone else went home."

"Come on." Perry said.

They went into the backyard. Perry opened up the tree tunnel and pushed them inside.

"Guess we're lucky you guys are still small." Perry said.

They rode down into his lair. The lair was also completely dark.

"I'm scared, Perry." Phineas said shakily.

Ferb put a hand on his brother's shoulder.

"You'll be all right. Can you guys do exactly as I tell you?"

Phineas and Ferb nodded.

"All right. I'm going to have to go to a pretty dangerous area, and I don't feel good about leaving you alone. So I'm going to take you with me." He handed the boys each a small device. "These are stunners. If anyone comes near you, you can zap them, and they won't be able to move for half an hour. Get in the hovercar."

Perry was relieved to find the hovercar still worked. The headlights lit things up much better than his phone had.

"All right. We're off." Perry flew out of the entrance.

"This would be fun if everything wasn't so dark." Phineas said nervously.

"Where is everyone?" Ferb asked. "All I see are buildings."

"There's a person down there." Phineas said. "Only one, though. He looks sleepy. He's lying down."

"Maybe he's hurt." Perry flew lower. "I'll be careful, though."

Perry hovered a couple of feet over the person. The man was bruised and beaten up. His arm looked terribly damaged.

Doofenshmirtz looked weakly up at Perry. Perry nearly lost control of the hovercar in shock.

"I don't know what happened, Perry the platypus." Doofenshmirtz whimpered. "I swear I don't know."


	5. Chapter 5

Perry flew on over Danville. The wind ruffling his fur and the small area lit by his hovercar were the only things keeping him from going crazy in the darkness.

"I wish the lights would come on." Phineas said. He was huddled against Doofenshmirtz. Perry suspected Phineas hadn't noticed that Doofenshmirtz had sat between him and Ferb and believed he was leaning on his brother.

"I do too, Phinny. Try not to worry. I think I may be able to get some sort of idea of what's happened here…"

"How?" Phineas asked.

"You… you understand him?" Doofenshmirtz asked.

Out of the corner of his eye, Perry saw Phineas jump a little, confirming his belief that Phineas hadn't noticed Doofenshmirtz get into the hovercar.

"Yeah. We built a translator for him."

"You built a translator?"

"We build lots of things." Phineas said. Perry heard the enthusiasm returning to his voice.

Perry parked the hovercar by the same beat-up fire hydrant JD had parked by mere hours before.

"Stay here." Perry said. "Remember your stunners if you need them."

Ferb nodded. Phineas translated for Doofenshmirtz.

Perry crept toward the chain-link fence cautiously, using his phone as a light again. Somehow the Troubadour's apartment seemed more dangerous in the dim glare.

Perry hadn't quite worked out a plan, but he was sure one would come to him.

"Perry!" A voice hissed.

Perry turned, thinking Phineas or Ferb had somehow called out to him in platypus chatter. But then he heard the clanging noise of someone crashing into the fence in front of him.

He snapped back to attention. "Prince?"

Prince stuck her hand through one of the holes in the fence. "You came… I didn't think you'd gotten the list to Malice… or… I was worried he didn't understand it… I just didn't think you'd come."

Perry grabbed her hand. Prince looked extremely relieved and happy to see him.

"You look terrible." Perry said. "What happened to your eye?"

"I was slammed against a wall."

"Where are the Troubadours?"

"Kidnapped, all of them. Luckily I was in the basement of the apartment and the other gang didn't find me. I crawled out about an hour after they were taken."

"Can you climb the fence?"

"No, my foot's broken."

"Prince, what on earth happened? Why did you steal that bunny?"

"I never stole it." Prince insisted. "Please, just get me out of here."

Perry took a lock pick out of his pocket and started working on the lock of the fence. "Promise me you'll tell me what happened."

"It's a long story, and you really don't need to hear it."

"Prince. Listen to me. There is no light ANYWHERE. As far as I know, only you, my nemesis and my boys are alive. Whatever you know can help me figure out what's going on."

The lock broke away. Perry opened the gate and put an arm around Prince. "I'm assuming you can't walk."

"I've been crawling everywhere."

Perry picked her up and carried her back to the hovercar. He placed her in the seat next to his.

"Sorry it's a little crowded. I didn't want to leave the boys alone, and I couldn't leave Doofenshmirtz bleeding in the street. Even if there were no cars coming."

"What did he say?" Doofenshmirtz asked Phineas.

"He said he was sorry it was crowded." Phineas said.

Perry rose the hovercar into the air, and they started back to Danville.

"Now." Perry said. "Tell me what happened. We have a long ride back. No excuses."

Prince sighed. "Fine." She looked back at the boys and Doofenshmirtz.  
>"Don't worry. They're having their own conversation back there." Perry listened for a second. "Phineas and Doofenshmirtz are wondering how they get those balloons within a balloon in the balloon, so they'll be ignoring us for a while. They can only understand me, anyway. Not you. Go."<p>

Prince rubbed her hand. "I left my uncle's to get coffee one morning. I sensed someone watching me on the way out, so I was ready to defend myself when he jumped out. But I wasn't prepared for who it was. Damien."

"Never heard of him."

"He was a giant lizard, the leader of the Darkness."

"I see how this story might connect." Perry said, trying to use the little hovercar light he had to make sure he was going the right way.

"The Darkness was a gang that the Silencers were deadly enemies with. Damien kidnapped Silencers members countless times. Only a few of the kidnapped survived and escaped, including me. Anyway, he and I fought for a while, but he overpowered me and broke my foot. He told me he wanted me to come with him to steal Plastic Jimmy. Do you know what that is?"

"Yes."

"I told him I'd have no part in it, so he threatened to kill me if I didn't come. He came close to doing so- slowly and painfully- when I gave in. I kept watch while he stole it. I won't tell you how. It's too long and detailed. He then tried to get me into a van to escape. I told him I was staying, so he slammed me against the wall of the store until I was too weak to object. He tossed me in the back of the van and we drove a while- I don't know how long. I couldn't do anything, he took everything I had to defend myself out of my pockets and I was in too much pain to move. He parked and ran away with the rabbit. I didn't know why he had left until the trunk opened. The Troubadours had tracked him and were trying to get the bunny. His escape tactic worked wonderfully. They found me, and thinking he would come back for me, held me for ransom. He got away safely. All he needed me for was to be a scapegoat for them to catch. The Troubadours held me in their basement until tonight."

"…Awful… Prince, I'm so sorry. I'll get your injuries taken care of, okay?"

"I should have known he would try that. I should have tried harder to get away from him." Prince said. "I was just so scared that he might track me and somehow find Crusher."

"He probably wouldn't have connected her to the Silencers, Prince."

"She's connected to him." Prince said bitterly.

"How?"

"He's her father."

Perry was silent for a moment. "So… Crush is a hybrid?"

"Of course, and there's nothing wrong with it." Prince snapped.

"No. Not at all. I'm just surprised. She seemed to be completely a platypus."

"Ever wondered why she wears gloves? Why she seems to glare all the time? Why she hates being in cold places?"

"She told me she didn't want to leave fingerprints. And I thought she was just a cranky person. And as for cold places… I've never seen her cold."

"Her hands would stick to everything if she didn't wear them. She can climb up almost anything. Her vision is a mix between platypus and lizard. You can tell when she's angry, her eyes slit. And if she doesn't get enough sun, she becomes tired and cranky."

"Wow. I never noticed. So… Damien?"

"Hate him. Never liked him, if you got the wrong impression." Prince said.

"Doesn't sound like a fun guy, no. Wait… so he has the bunny?"

"Yes."

"I know Rex made the bunny, and it was a symbol of power. Do you know anything about the weapon his father supposedly made?"

"Yes. It got lost, so Rex had no idea where it was. He made the bunny as a key to activate the weapon. But Rex said later if we ever found the weapon, we should destroy it."

"Do you know what it does?"

"No. Not a clue. Something bad, though."

"I think I know what's happening… kind of." Perry turned to Phineas. "Phinny, quit talking about balloons for a sec. Ask Doof who attacked him."

"Who attacked you?" Phineas asked.

"It's gonna sound crazy." Doofenshmirtz mumbled.

"Oh." Phineas said.

"Okay, fine. It was a three-foot tall lizard."

Perry looked at Prince. "Doofenshmirtz bought a machine at a thrift store today. It didn't do anything when he flipped the switch. I'm going to take a wild guess and say that was the weapon, and Damien attacked him for it."

Prince looked furious. "Does this thing go any faster?"

"We'll get there soon." Perry said. "Hopefully not too late."

** ...**

A big purple light was the only thing illuminating the center of Danville.

Malice was standing in front of all of the members of Royal Guard, pointing a gun at Damien.

The machine was glowing, giving off an unearthly hum. Malice had heard rumors about the weapon supposedly created by the most feared gang leader of all time, Vendetta, but he had thought it was just a rumor.

"It ends here, Damien." Malice said. "Don't you DARE use that weapon."

Damien gave a little reptilian hiss of laughter. "I wouldn't dare. Not when Royal Guard has a little guard dog on the watch. Or should I say, guard puppy?"

"I'll shoot."

"Your leader tried that trick." Damien said. "It didn't work the way she planned."

"What did you DO with her?"

"That's for me to know and you to…" Damien thought for a moment. "Not know."

"Just shoot him now." Finicky said. "Don't wait for him to talk you into it."

"Where IS everybody?" Tesla asked.

Damien smiled and pointed at the weapon. It began to glow a radiant purple.

"It takes a lot of power." He said. "I gathered the light. I gathered humans, and animals, and some daytime talk-show hosts. Soon the void will open. This void will swallow all of my enemies."

"What does it do after that?" Asked Fiasco, the most curious member of Royal Guard.

Damien shrugged. "I actually don't know. But it can't be pleasant. Would you like to find out?"

Fiasco hid behind Tesla.

Finicky had been writing on his paw secretly. He pretended to scratch his nose, holding the paw in Malice's line of vision.

_Keep him talking. I'll try to deactivate the weapon._

Malice gave a small nod to indicate he understood. "So, Damien, how exactly did you get hold of this weapon?"  
>Damien gave a tiny, sharp-toothed grin. "Some idiot human bought it after I managed to locate it in a thrift store. I tracked him down and knocked him senseless. Weapon's mine."<p>

"So our leader didn't steal Jimmy?"

"That plastic bunny? She didn't have the guts. I even asked her to assist me, and she refused. So I managed to persuade her to be my scapegoat."

The fur on Malice's neck rose. "You… you…"

"Funny thing about her." Damien said. "She's really not that resourceful. Did she really think I wasn't going to check her for weapons before turning my back to her? Did she expect me to use her as a way to escape? Of course not. She may despise me, but she has no idea what's going on. That 'cleverness' is just a little made-up trait she gave herself to-"

"SHUT! UP!" Malice had so much heat in his face he felt it would explode. He fired.

Damien dodged. The bullet hit the weapon, causing its beam to grow into a large circle of darkness. Finicky was sucked inside. A hovercar landed near the scene. A brown-furred platypus appeared out of nowhere and ran to the car.

** ...**

"That looks dangerous." Doofenshmirtz said.

It had become extremely windy. Perry was having to fight hard to keep himself from getting sucked into the weapon's swirl of darkness.

Phineas and Ferb were flying in the air. Doofenshmirtz was trying to hold onto them.

JD grabbed hold of Perry and pulled him away. The void no longer tugged on him.

Doofenshmirtz began to fly toward the void, still holding onto the two boys. Perry leapt and clutched onto his nemesis's foot, but only wound up getting pulled into the vortex again.

"LET GO!" Phineas shouted. "SHUT OFF THE MACHINE!"

Perry felt someone tugging on him.

"It's not your fight, kid!" JD said. "Get down here! Get the lizard!"

Perry was pulled free of Doofenshmirtz. JD pointed at a switch on the side of the machine.

Perry ran. He yanked the switch into the "off" position just as the boys and Doofenshmirtz were sucked into the void.


	6. Chapter 6

Doofenshmirtz's first thought was _wet_.

Water completely surrounded him. A fish swam lazily by.

"Where are we?" Phineas asked, tugging on Doofenshmirtz's lab coat. At least Doofenshmirtz thought he was Phineas. He had trouble telling the two boys apart. They were probably twins. "And why are we breathing underwater?"

"Where's the other one?" Doofenshmirtz asked.

"Ferb? He's over there."

Ferb was sitting on a rock, patting a fish.

Okay. At least the kids weren't scared. That made two of them.

"Let's try not to panic." Doofenshmirtz said.

"I'm not panicking." Phineas said. "Ferb, are you panicking?"

Ferb shook his head.

"Perry will get us out." Phineas said.

"Good. So I guess… we just wait for him." Doofenshmirtz said.

They floated for a while.

"It takes him like two seconds to blow up my inators." Doofenshmirtz griped. "Why are we not out of here?"

"He'll have to figure out how to reverse the machine." Phineas said.

"Guess what kind of fish that is." Ferb said, pointing at a fish with spines.

"Could it be a buh-lowfish?" Phineas asked.

"Buh-lowfish!" Ferb said.

They burst into laughter.

Doofenshmirtz wished he knew what they were talking about so that he could laugh and not be worried, too.

"Have you guys ever gotten stuck in something like this before?" He asked.

"Nah." Phineas said.

Doofenshmirtz tried to swim over to the boys, but it was difficult to do with one arm.

"Perry will help us." Phineas said.

"Swim!" Ferb suddenly said.

"Why?" Asked Phineas.

Ferb pointed, and Phineas and Doofenshmirtz turned.

A whole mob of people were floating towards them, their eyes glowing blue, their bodies a purple shadow. One of the shadows looked like his brother. Another, his daughter Vanessa.

"Is that mom?" Phineas asked. "And dad and Candace?"

One of the shadows was wearing a shadowy baseball cap. It opened its mouth, revealing sharp teeth.

"Well, this is weird." Phineas said. "Paul, why do you have pointy teeth? And why are you all dark?"

Ferb tugged on Phineas and pulled him away. The shadows began to roar.

"I think they're dangerous." Phineas whimpered.

Ferb tugged harder.  
>"Guys, I can't exactly swim." Doofenshmirtz said. The shadowy Vanessa was starting to creep him out. It was like a really, really angry Vanessa.<p>

Ferb grabbed Doofenshmirtz's good arm and kicked forward. Doofenshmirtz was amazed with the kid's strength.

"Ferb…" Phineas said. "They're coming."

Doofenshmirtz snuck a look behind him. The shadows were swimming after them.

"I don't think I've ever seen Isabella look so malevolent." Phineas said. "Hey, Jeremy's eyes look kind of normal. If his entire retina was his eye."

"I don't… want to know!" Ferb huffed.

The blowfish was swimming ahead of them.

"Ferb, I think buh-lowfish is trying to show us something."

Ferb nodded.

The blowfish swam on.

"Ferb, I think we're supposed to turn-"

"I've got this!"

"Ferb, there's a wall there."

"I've GOT this!"

Doofenshmirtz was a little doubtful. The kid had a crazy, determined look in his eyes now, and he was swimming rapidly toward the rocky wall.

The blowfish began to puff itself up. It blasted toward a small hole in the side of the wall.

"Ferb…" Phineas said. "Ferrrb…"

"HUSH!"

The blowfish smashed into the hole and turned its body like a little key. A door in the wall opened up. Doofenshmirtz, Phineas and Ferb fell into a stone room.

A clicking noise sounded, and the door they had come in through closed up just as one of the shadows tried to enter.

The boys were hacking up water.

"Well." Doofenshmirtz said. "How could this day get any weirder?"

** ...**

"Reverse that thing NOW." Perry growled.

"No." Damien said.

"FINN!" Malice was yelling. "FINICKY, WHERE ARE YOU?"

"I can't reverse it." Damien said. "It destroys my enemies. So whoever or whatever those things were that got sucked in are most likely gone."

Perry's heart fell and dissolved in the pit of his stomach. He collapsed to the ground and sobbed.

"Pitiful." He heard Damien say without the slightest tone of pity.

Perry didn't care at all. Everything he cared about was gone. He clawed into the asphalt, trying to make it break. It needed to hurt as badly as he did.

"Pitiful, is it?" Prince's voice retorted. Perry hardly heard her limping closer to them over his howls. "How about fleeing from your gang and leaving them to die in a fight like YOU, Damien? I find that much more pitiful."

"Go run back to your little puppy friend, Princess." Damien spat. "Before I decide that your face would look better backwards."

"You're a coward."

"I'll tell you what a coward is. Someone who lies around crying their eyes out instead of fighting! All because he depended on measly little humans. Were those humans your owners, platypus? That's why you don't get attached to humans. They're just selfish creatures who spend all their time 'creating' and 'innovating' and 'finding themselves' and 'inventing the future'. Ironic how with their thirst for knowledge, they grow up to be so stupid that they get sucked into a weapon a lizard could operate-"

Perry threw Damien against the wall of a pet store, slamming him so hard a couple of rocks fell down from the roof. Perry punched him as hard as he could.

"Stop it, both of you, STOP IT!" Prince shouted. She shoved Malice away from her and limped over to Perry. "CUT IT OUT! He could really hurt you! Reptiles are different than…"

Damien gave Perry a hard kick. Perry flew back and hit the ground, gasping in pain.

Damien was holding his arm. He was badly bruised, but he didn't look as though he was seriously injured.

Perry stood up and lunged at Damien, who saw the attack coming and grabbed him, pinning his arms behind his back. Perry then felt something cold and hard pressing against his temple.

"Don't move." Damien said in an icy tone.

Perry froze. Prince had held a gun to him many times before, but he knew she wouldn't shoot him unless he provoked her.

Damien, however, seemed ready to fire.

"If ANYONE here moves, he gets it." Damien said.

Everyone became still, making the night seem much darker than it already was.

"Here's what's going to happen." Damien said slowly. "You will ALL join the Darkness and allow me to take complete charge of you. Or his brains are history."

The Royal Guard members looked at Prince.

"Let him go, Damien." Prince said, her voice shaking. "I'm warning you."

"That's not really your place to tell me who to let go, is it?" Damien said. "I'm holding a gun to him. All I have to do is one quick finger movement, and he is gone."

Prince swallowed.

"We really have no choice here-" Malice began.

"Shut it." Prince hissed at him. She held onto his shoulder for support.

"I'll give you five seconds before-" Damien began.

Then he stopped. He was looking off into the distance.

Perry looked too.

A mesmerizing pink light was floating towards them. It was getting closer.

Damien's grip on Perry relaxed. He dropped the gun.

Sneakers floated up to them and landed at Damien's feet. She blinked at him.

"Oh…" Damien breathed.

"It's… it's beautiful." Malice said.

Sneakers sat down and began to chew on her paw.

Damien walked over to the weapon, picked it up, and set it down in front of her. He set his gun in front of her, too.

"Those are yours." He said.

Malice handed Sneakers his fingerless gloves. Tesla gave her a woven bracelet.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" Damien asked Sneakers. "Anything you want. Any price range. Anything."

Sneakers yawned.

"A bed. A bed. I'm on it."

Damien went running off towards the furniture store.

"Nice job, Sneaks." Perry said, patting her on the head.

The Royal Guard members started off to their hideout to gather more possessions for Sneakers.

"Better get the innocent people powering that thing outta there." JD said, pointing at the machine.

"Right." Perry said, his heart suddenly feeling heavy again.

Sneakers cuddled up to Prince.

Perry opened up the right side of the weapon and rewired the power system. He then switched it on.

Loads of people came spitting out of the machine, looking slightly disheveled and confused.

Perry saw Linda and Lawrence and Candace standing together, trying to figure out where they were. Vanessa Doofenshmirtz was looking around for a familiar face. Baljeet, Buford and Monogram were brushing themselves off.

The streetlamps came back on. Light flooded through the city.

Royal Guard cheered.

Perry sat down on the ground and stared straight ahead, trying not to make eye contact with anyone.

A tiny paw set itself on his leg. Sneakers climbed into his lap.

Perry stroked her absent-mindedly.

"Perry! We saw a blowfish!"

"Buh-lowfish!"

Why did his memories hate him? His head was taunting him, playing back the sounds of Phineas and Ferb's voices.

"Perrrryyy!" Phineas said, tapping him on the head. "A buh-lowwwfissshh!"

Perry turned. "Ph-phin? Ferb?"

"Ph-phin. A new kind of dolphin." Ferb said.

"I thought… I thought…"

"You got us out, Perry!" Phineas hugged him. "I knew you would!"

"A blowfish saved our lives." Ferb said.

"YOU saved our lives, Ferb! You swam while holding onto both of us!"

Perry glared at Doofenshmirtz. "He made you pull him along?"

"His arm hurt." Phineas said.

"Wait, you were swimming?"  
>"Buh-lowfish." Ferb said.<p>

"We'll tell you all of it, Perry. We promise."

Phineas hugged him.

"I'm so happy… so happy you're safe." Perry said.

"Oh… looooook!" Doofenshmirtz suddenly squealed. He pointed at Sneakers. "Look how cute that little platypus is!"

"Group hug with Sneakers and Dolphineas and Perry." Ferb said, joining in with Phineas's hug.


	7. Chapter 7

"This is such a good movie." Phineas said.

The words "ON THE TRAIL" flashed onto the screen. A man was riding on his horse.

"I used to watch this movie all the time." Candace said. "Then it got kind of old."

"And here you are watching it again." Phineas said, reaching for the popcorn bowl.

Phineas, Ferb and Candace were sitting on the couch. Perry was lying on the rug. Ferb was rubbing his back with his foot.

"There he is." Said the main hero on the television. "That darn old Rusty Buckets."

"We'll get 'im." Said his sidekick.

"Ride on, Buttersandals." The main hero told his horse.

"Buttersandals? He related to Gingershoes?" Perry asked.

"This movie was made by the same people who created 'Horse In A Bookcase'." Phineas said.

"Phineas, stop blabbing during the movie." Candace snapped.

"Ert's a hurse!" Ferb said.

"Buh-lowfish!" Said Phineas.

"You guys are so WEIRD." Candace moaned.

"THERE HE IS!" The main hero suddenly shouted. "RUSTY BUCKETS! BUTTERSANDALS, GIDDYUP!"

A chase scene began. Rusty Buckets was in the lead, but Buttersandals was catching up quickly.

Suddenly the sidekick fell off of his horse, smacking his head against the bumpy part of the saddle.

"And then he had to get a new face!" Ferb said.

Phineas burst out laughing.

"Bluttersandals." Ferb said.

Perry had to keep himself from laughing. Too many snorting noises would annoy Candace.

"I love you, Ferb." Phineas said. "And you, Perry. And you, Candace."

Perry beamed up at him.

Meanwhile, on the television, Buttersandals was eating an apple.

** ...**

Malice leaned against the wall and watched as Finicky and the others all rejoiced at their leader's return. Tesla broke into the circle and shook hands with Prince.

"New member. Great." Prince said.

JD grabbed onto Prince's shoulder. "Yeah, yeah yeah. Good times. Niece's not doin' too well, though. I'm gonna get her in a safe spot so she can rest for a bit."

Malice stood up. JD walked Prince over to the door.

"Jay, can I talk to her for a second?" Malice asked.

JD shrugged. "Her choice. I'll be out by my car."

Prince headed into the back room of their hideout, away from all the others. Malice followed.

She closed the door behind them and folded her arms. "So?"

"Good to have you back." Malice said.

"You certainly look thrilled."

"I am." Malice said, trying to smile more. "I was just worried about you. How'd you escape? Fight them off?"

"Perry came and got me." Prince said.

"Hm." Malice said. He picked up a plastic wolf toy that had been sitting on a shelf.

"Why do you hate him?" Prince asked suddenly.

Malice nearly dropped the wolf in surprise. "I don't hate him."

"You're ice around him."

"I just don't fully trust him." Malice said. "He is an agent, after all."

"Fair enough." Prince said. "He most likely doesn't trust you, either."

Malice nodded, not even sure that he cared whether Perry trusted him or not. He put the wolf back on the shelf.

"Sorry, Mally." Prince said. "But you're my second in command. And I'm super happy right now."

"I'm not sure you have any idea what I'm talking about." Malice grumbled.

"Oh, I do." Prince said.

She put a hand on his shoulder, probably just to stabilize herself on her one leg.

"I may not trust him." Malice said. "But I trust him a heck of a lot more than I trust any of the other people you told me about."

"You trust him more than Vance Ward, then?"  
>"You know what I mean." Malice wished she would get his hand off his shoulder. It was making him uncomfortable.<p>

"Yes, I do. Look, you either have to get over it or move on."

"I can't."

Not even aware he was doing it, Malice grabbed her and kissed her. Prince shoved him away.

"Sorry, Mally, but I'm not interested in you."

"I know." Malice said, his face burning. He folded his arms.

"We'll call it even, then? You got your kiss. You no longer have to be Jack Frost around Perry now, got it?"

"Fine." Malice said, although he had barely heard her.

"Don't be a stranger." Prince said. She turned and limped out the door.

She was promptly replaced by Crusher, who dropped a heavy duffel bag on the floor and sat down in a chair. She stared at Malice.

"What happened to her?"

"She was kidnapped. She's back now."

"Obvs." Crusher said. "What's with you?"

Malice shrugged. "Nothin'."

** ...**

"Nothin' worse than bees-a-stingin', 'cept this cowboy song we're singing on the trail."

Phineas and Ferb had both passed out during the middle of the movie. Candace and Perry were the only ones left awake.

The credits began to roll.

Candace yawned. "Goodnight, Perry."

Perry chewed on the living room rug, thinking about everything that had happened over the past few days.

It certainly was a lot to think about.

He started to fall asleep to the country song in the credits when two names caught his eye.

_BEAVERS IN THE BACKGROUND: BOBBY JANE BEAVER AND JOHNNY SUE BEAVER._

Perry smiled. The casters had gotten the right beavers for their movie.


End file.
